6 Tips For Happy, Long-Lasting Relationships
We all want our own love story + happily ever after but what a 2 hour movie doesn’t show is the years of trial & tribulation + work that long term partnerships encounter & require. To love somebody is a choice. When the honeymoon phase fades and you’re no longer high off the idea of being in a relationship, reality really sets in. Things aren’t always perfect, there will be days that don’t feel like paradise, and you will annoy the crap out of each other!!!! LOL. It’s SO easy to get comfortable and forget why y’all fell in love in the first place. So here’s some advice to make the love last a lifetime.
- Having a Friendship.
This is the most important + reliable foundation in a relationship. Take away the sex & what remains? How compatible are you now? Friendship is where honesty, communication, laughter, freedom, respect, loyalty, and unconditional love thrives. The ability to be your weird self without judgement, being able to speak your truth without fear of abandonment, mutual understanding that we are only human, constantly evolving and learning.. honesty when unfaithful & forgiveness when genuinely remorseful — this is all essential for a healthy, everlasting romance and it’s all rooted in friendship.
- Keep dating!
My favorite !!!!! I love going on dates , being asked out on dates, & surprising my man with dates! It truly keeps the relationship feeling new and fresh and FUN !!!! This one is simple!!! Don’t fall into the dangerous pit of routine! Make the time. Even if it’s a walk in the park , facials and massages in the bedroom, or a picnic on the beach! Send cute morning or good night text messages! Leave love notes in his or her bag. Dating doesn’t always have to burn a hole in your pockets. Showing your loved one that you’re still interested & willing to put the time and energy into the relationship and showing that you care is so freaking vital!!!!!
Can’t stress this enough. It’s cute to say “we are one” but it’s detrimental to actually live that reality!!!! Individuality is crucial !!!!!! Having your own identity, hobbies , friends, etc is a must !!!! Hell, me and Will even have separate bedrooms and we LOVE IT!!!! (I’m super organized and very girly so the shared bedroom thing was not working out for us but hey, to each is own.) However, respecting their privacy, having healthy boundaries/time apart really does make the heart grow fonder.
- Stay on the same page
whether you are having doubts , feel like your partner is having doubts, or one of you is just straight out not happy ; it’s important to communicate this to the other. Most of the time, you’ll talk through it & feel a lot better once you do. Coming up with a diagnosis together as to what is causing these thoughts will help with figuring out what the next step should be to get the love train back on track.
- Save some for the imagination.
Keep each other wondering a bit. Not revealing everything about yourself at once will keep your partner on their toes. Predictability can get boring. Be spontaneous , multi dimensional , patient. Take your time revealing your inner most world and deepest darkest secrets. I mean , you have a whole life time together. What’s the rush?
- Allow your partner to be themselves.
Forcing somebody to fit your ideal lover is just wrong on so many levels. I know the thought of being alone forever or the possibility of never finding the one can be scary, but what’s scarier is being with somebody that has to where a mask 24/7 for you to “love” them or vice versa. Make sure you are with somebody who loves you and who you love exactly for who they are. FLAWS and all. It’s truly beautiful and revolutionary to experience a mutual love that let’s you breath.
How we knew when somebody wasn’t “the one” ?
Easy! They didn’t fit any or a majority of the criteria above. Whether it was lack of honesty, respect , communication , friendship , dating, freedom to be ourselves , healthy boundaries, or just no longer feeling it, those were all the red flags we needed to eventually find the strength to move on ! If you can’t talk to your partner about everything and anything , if you have to walk on eggshells or if the sex is really the only thing keeping the relationship alive ; it may be time to re-evaluate !
The more time spent with the wrong person will have you missing out on the once in a lifetime love that is destined for you, xoxoxo.